Rebuking & Correcting

Today's question is this, "My friend is always cussing. She claims to be a Christian, but she isn't acting like it. What do I do?" I'm sure we've all been in this position. We know someone who says their a Christian but doesn't act like it (and maybe we've done this). So what do you do?

First let's answer the question, should we confront them? Understand that what they say and do is ultimately between them and God. You do not have to answer for anything they do, just what you do. Now, this doesn't mean that we shouldn't talk to our friends about the things they do. We still have a responsibility as brothers and sisters in a community in Christ to help, encourage and uplift our brothers & sisters in Christ. This means talking to them about the things that they say & do that seem to go against loving God and loving people. So, what do we do when we see another Christian doing things that aren't loving? How do we confront them?

When we have to confront someone, we can't just react to what they say and do. We need to pray that God would prepare their hearts and also to give us guidance, courage, and wisdom to know what to say & how to say it. We need to think through what we are going to say before we say it. Always look to the Bible for help. It's our go-to book for spiritual guidance. 2 Timothy3:16 says that, "All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness..." God tells us in the Bible how we should live, and so when we are correcting another Christian about how they are living, we need to back up what we say with scripture. We also need to be careful with how we say it. Sometimes we can say the right things in the wrong way. This will accomplish the opposite of what we're trying to do. It'll push them away from correction and possibly away from God. So we need to be careful with how we confront someone.

Jesus says that we go and talk to them about it, just the two of us. If they don't listen then go with a couple people. If they still don't listen then treat him, "as you would a pagan or tax collector (Matt 18:15-17)." Now this doesn't mean if they don't listen to you then you hate them and call them a sinner and stop hanging out with them. Treating someone like a tax collector or pagan means that you pray for them, love them as God does, and share God's word with them, hoping they come to repentance.

Last night we talked about when King David committed adultery then tried to cover it up. The prophet Nathan went to David and called him on it. Now, Nathan had a message from God, but I'm sure he felt scared and nervous of not just losing a friend, but possibly losing his life (after all he was confronting THE KING!) Nathan, I'm sure, prayed that God would give him courage, strength, wisdom & tact. He thought through what he was going to say and how he was going to say it. Only then did he go to David. Nathan first told David a story which was meant to show David what he did, from another's perspective.

When we talk to someone we first need to pray, then think about what to say and how to say it. We can't be mean, or attacking, but rather we need to speak to them in love & care. The more we do this, the more able and willing they'll be to see that they need correcting.